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Birthday

Happy Birthday aragornwolf

Frustrated and depressed.

First off, no I'm not begging/asking for help, I'm just venting.

Right now I am really depressed and frustrated with things in my life.  My career (and I use that term lightly) as an artist is going no where.  I can't even seem to give my art away to anyone other than friends.  I've been doing art for years but I never have and never will be anything above mediocre, if I could even be called that.  It truly depresses me seeing so many others who have people literally standing in line and begging them for work, and it makes me wonder what I am doing wrong.  I  try to be nice to people, I try to be affordable without ripping myself off (though I often do), and though I hate sounding like an egotist, my work doesn't suck.  I put a lot of time and effort in to it.  Or at least I do when I can find the inspiration to work and I'm not so damned down.  Lately I haven't felt like doing a lot because of this.  I actually have two outstanding commissions and I feel horrible, but I just have no...I don't even know what to call it exactly, to finish them right now.

I don't really have anyone to talk to about it either.  I love my hubby, but he doesn't understand and my parents are right out.  My mother doesn't consider anything that doesn't involve hard physical labor a "real job" (this is where a LOT of my depression stems from) and my dad...well...if it ain't on tv, he doesn't really pay attention.  I have friends, and I do love my friends, but I don't think a lot of them would understand either.  I just...don't know anymore.

I'm also worried that I may have to give up doing art within the next year or so.  Holding things for long periods of time is beginning to hurt my hand (right) and causing it to shake.  I could probably still do some kinds of art like sewing, suiting and beading, but drawing and such would either be extremely limited or non-existent.  I've tried talking it over with Kengi, but again, he just doesn't understand.

I'm also depressed about our financial situation (I know...who isn't?).  I have been trying and trying to keep us on level ground, but I can't seem to catch a break.  Little things always seem to pop up at the last minute (and sometimes not so little things).  Sure, I can pay the bills, but we have nothing left over to fall back on after that.

I really don't know what I am going to do.  I'm hoping moving will help.  I'm hoping having our own home and room to really work will take pressure off of both of us.  I'm hoping we get to move this summer.  I am so tired of being here and not being able to catch a break on anything.

Moving list

This is not a list of things I need to remember for when I move, but a list of reasons I want/need to move.  It is not that I do not love my parents, but it seems that we simply cannot get along like we used to.  I will add to this list as I think of things and nothing is in any real order.

1. Unappreciated-What we do, how we help around the house is never enough.  More is always wanted.
2. Backhanded- whether it be apologies or compliments, there is always some snide remark or bitching that follows.
3. Food- I appreciate good home cooked food in a wide variety. 
4. Undermining- I have a child, he has rules, I expect them to be followed.
5. Unreliable cops
6. Ignorant neighbors
7. Loose, aggressive animals

More to come

Damn Dogs!

I am sick and fucking tired of these damn dogs running around.  I am sick and tired of owners not giving a damn about their "pets" and just letting them run loose.  And I am even more tired of the damn city doing nothing about it!  Not only do we have aggressive strays running loose, but our own neighbors who fucking know better are letting their fear aggressive puppy run loose as well while they make the excuse that "we're planning on putting up a fence".  Well...that's all well and fucking good, but what about until then!?  Tie the mother fucking dog out if you don't want to stand out there with it and keep it in it's own yard! 

We do everything we can to keep Seph from getting loose here, so why can't other people do the same.  It's not that fucking hard to get tie out lines, or make them, or hell just stay out there with the dog and teach it not to leave it's own yard!  Fencing isn't cheap, that's why we don't have one yet.  This is yet another reason for us to move out of this damn town.
Well, this is why.

I grew up in a small town that was pretty good most of the time.  It was quiet, and no one really bothered anyone else, even though you pretty much knew everyone.  Now though...it sucks.  We have a subdivision full of yuppies, illegals and wannabe gangers behind our house.  On either side, we have houses that sit most of the time empty and no one takes care of the yards or the buildings themselves so they basically just sit there and rot.  One house across from us has neighbors that are completely horrible.  We've seen them abuse animals and their kids.  The guy has made multiple threats of bodily and property harm to the neighbors on either side of him as well as my husband.  He has also beat an unknown animal and a cat (his own) to death (the cat is still in the yard and it's been almost a week).  He trained 3 dogs to attack people (police FINALLY forced him to get rid of them).  He now has two small dogs, one of which is constantly getting out.  It gets in the road and in other people's yards where it digs and does it's business.  If they even "think" the cops are about to be called on them, they leave the house.  They tried to keep chickens and guineas when there is an ordinance against farm animals and then got mad when they were also forced to get rid of those.  One of the women (there are two living there) made the two girls (about 8-12yrs) stay outside in the rain and cold to "play" even when they were begging to at least get under the porch.  They've thrown trash in one of the neighbors yards, shot fireworks at his dog to the point the dog chewed through a chain link fence and ran across the street to us.

These people are seriously horrible.  The worst part is, they work at the fucking RED CROSS in town.  We've seen Red Cross vehicles in their drive as well as seeing their vehicles over at the Red Cross building.  (No we're not stalking them, it happens to be on a street we frequently go down on our way to other stores.)

The cops here are fucking useless.  Even if they catch the people home, they do NOTHING.  The city workers only have so much authority too until it becomes a police issue, but if the police won't do anything, their hands are tied and these assholes just get to do whatever they want.

Sephy post

Been chatting with people about Service Dogs a lot lately and decided I should post a pic of Seph.  I found one of his first photos in his vest the other day and was amazed at how much he really has grown.  He's still a goof sometimes and has a lot of puppy mentality still, but he is getting better and better all the time about keeping calm (his biggest downfall).




He was about six months old in that pic and we were just starting to take him in to public for training before the military shit hit the fan.




And this is him just a few months ago at a Petco photo shoot.  He was much better than I expected him to be considering how excited he gets around a camera.

I gotta vent

I just went to check on my business page on FA and got informed that it's been banned as a ban evasion account by my husband.    WTF!?  Are you serious!?  He was banned months ago.  He has NO access to the site (except as a guest).  He does NOT know the password to the business account.  I do ALL of the uploading, correspondence and maintaining of that page.  I guess because technically he's my business partner/husband they just assume I let him use the page too.  I guess because we both make perler sprites and there is NO way to tell who made them then they're assuming that he did it.  Ok, so he irons them for me because my ironing sucks!  But I put the damn things together.  So he's uploading some of them to other sites...it's part of our business, they're FOR SALE.  We have to advertise in as many places as possible.

This is seriously pissing me off.  All I wanted was to be able to separate my personal work from the business stuff, but now I can't even do that.

Pet peeve

I have a lot of pet peeves and this is one of them.

People who CANNOT just shut up and leave well enough alone on small and minor issues.  The continue to whine, wheedle, coerce, rant, rave, and in some cases become violent over things that they really should not put too much of their concern on.  When told to back off or let it go, they get more and more defensive and angry, doing no one, especially themselves any good.  To make matters worse is if they have no tact for presenting their complaint in a calm and polite manner.  Then they end up coming off as nothing more than a raging dickwad or an absolute moon bat.

IMO, it is imperative that people learn how to communicate properly.  If you have a beef with someone, find, but learn how to voice it in a manner that is clear, polite, and doesn't leave you looking like a complete and total jackass or moron.  It's like something my mother told me a long time ago (and honestly something she needs to remember how to do).  "You can send someone to hell and make them enjoy the ride if you know how."

I hate our neighbor.

We have two neighbors across the street from us, one directly across and one next to him which makes them catty cornered to our house across the street.  Now the neighbor directly across the street, M, is cool.  We knew his parents, watched him grow up, I even went to school with some of his cousins, so yeah, no problems with him.  It's the catty corner neighbor we (and the people on either side of them) that we're having the problem with.  First off, their is a NO PIT BULL/PIT BULL MIX ordinance in the town.  Basically if you move in with one, you have ten days to get rid of it or the cops are SUPPOSED to write you a ticket, and continue to ticket you until the dog is gone.  However, our cops are lazy POS's that would rather sit on their ass and eat donuts at the gas station or hang out at Subway instead of doing their jobs.  (I have many many more gripes about the cops)  So, this dog is still here and while I normally have no problems with bully breeds of any kind and honestly hate the fact we have any BSL in this town, we have had a problem with vicious pit bull type dogs and this one is no exception.  This dog has gotten out multiple times, growled at some of us and the neighbors (while they were in their yard) and even tried to attack one of the cops called in to help pick the dog up.  Us and the other neighbors have all had words with the fucktard owner, warning him that force, even deadly force, WILL be used if this dog comes on to ours/their property.  The owner if a complete and total asshole and a bully who is now teaching the dog to attack people.  The dog has already been attacking the other dogs they own, how much worse does he really think he needs to make things.  I honestly worry he'll (the dog) will get into M's yard and attack his dog and kill him, or even come over here when one of us has Seph out and try to get at us or him.  I don't like having to keep some kind of weapon handy because some douchebag decides he wants to have a vicious and illegal dog.


*The ordinance is oddly enough ONLY against pit bull and pit bull mix/type dogs.  All the other "vicious" breeds are still perfectly acceptable.

If the dog was friendly I would seriously have NO problem with it being in town, but it isn't.